A Real Hero
by whiskytango
Summary: Noah Puckerman has to leave Beth and Quinn for Afghanistan, only to hear the worst news he could receive whilst battling a never ending fight, a year after he leaves them. Rated M for language and smut in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_This is set after they've finished high school and Quinn didn't get pregnant until afterwards. I would really just like to know what you guys think, and maybe tell me if you think this story is worth continuing! Anyway, enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee blah blah blah_

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><p>The moment Beth was born is the thing he thinks about every night before he falls asleep. The way she cried, the way she fit perfectly into Quinn's arms. The smile that they shared. He thinks about it so he'll dream about it. That he'll see his little girl every night, but only in his dreams.<p>

He can't bear to say good-bye to them. He was promised a few extra weeks after Beth's third birthday, but they needed someone and always that someone would be him. He's too good. He can remember Quinn one night after they put Beth to sleep, exhausted and tired saying, _"Baby, you're too good. They're going to take you away from us you do know that, right? I may be selfish, but I need you." _And she rolled away from him, not speaking another word to him until the next morning. It was the first time Quinn spoke her mind about the idea and it was the last.

So now it's two years since she said that comment, and he's been away from them for almost a year. Every time his leave comes, something goes wrong and he gets called back in again. They've promoted him to be an Army Ranger. Something he did not want, but something he was made to do. It meant the frontline, and it almost certainly meant he might not be coming home. He didn't receive a letter from her after he told her that he would be overseas some more, for over a month. He called, but she never picked up. He called Rachel and she told him that she was all right; she just needed some time to recover. She did have herself and Beth to look after.

He rolls onto his side so he can grab a photo from his wallet, grinning at the picture. It's Quinn and Beth in the backyard, playing with the hose. Quinn's drenched to the bone, Beth giggling as she pours the water over her mother's head. It's been a year, a year since he's touched both of them. It's been a year since they made love. It's been a year since they've held each other. He hears the helicopter in the distance and sits up, hoping and praying that it might be the mail. Perry walks in, grinning ear to ear as he throws a letter to him and Puck catches it skillfully, not even bothering to look at the sender before opening it.

He can smell her when he pulls the letter out and a photo drops out. He picks it up, turning it over. Beth's hair has grown to her shoulders in brown ringlets, her eyes, the same shade of green that Quinn has, sparkles as she stares at the camera. Quinn has her on her hip, her arms that have gotten thinner wrapped around her protectively. Puck can see the toll of him being over here has on her. She's cut her hair short, it's messy and she really isn't smiling. He knows it too well. It's that smile she would use whenever she would take him over to her parents to have dinner. It's the smile that shows them that she's fine, she's happy when she really isn't. He sighs and sits up in his bunk, grabbing his torch to read the letter.

_Noah,_

He's startled. The handwriting isn't Quinn's and she never titles it with Noah.

_It's Rachel. Quinn's lying in bed as I write. She hasn't been feeling too well, so she's asked me to write for her. The picture of Beth and her is at the park, just yesterday. I brought Tyler along too and I think we may have a match made in heaven! Obviously Quinn didn't write that, but I really think that our children should get married one day, Noah! They' d be cute and maybe we can all go to Temple together! Anyway, Quinn wants me to tell you that she's finally unpacked the last box and found a stash of your Playboys. She plans to burn them sometime soon. There hasn't been much going on... Beth demands coco pops every time at breakfast, thanks to you. You really didn't need to tell her that you had been eating them all your life and they are the best thing in this world. Quinn is also wondering when you'll have access to go on Skype, because Beth keeps calling for you during the night and clutches to your picture. Also, can you tell Finn to get on Skype too? He hasn't been very lively lately and I'm ready to give him a smack. Also, Puck just wondering when are you coming home? I know Quinn won't read over this because I'll send it before she can see, but Puck, Quinn's been really distant lately. She doesn't leave the house very often, only to buy groceries and whenever Finn comes home and you don't, we don't see her for days. I know this is probably out of line, but you decided to make a family with her and then all this happened. You need to come home. It's been too long. _

_Lots of love,_

_Q & R_

_Xx_

Puck looks over at Finn's bunk, watching him grin as he reads his letter. Puck hangs his head as he thinks. Family or this. He loves it though. He loves the adrenaline rushes. He loves being in control, he loves being the squad leader, but he hates leaving. He hates being lonely. But what's he going to do? He would choose Family over everything, but these guys are his family now. He has no qualifications; he has nothing to fall back on when he goes back to Lima.

Before he can even grab his pen to write a reply there's an explosion in the background, shaking the tent and sirens go off. He kisses the picture of Beth and Quinn, sticking it in his helmet and suits up with the rest of the boys.

Quinn lies in bed; her back aching as Beth climbs in, snuggling up underneath her chin. She wraps her arm around her, kissing her head as she reaches over to grab the remote.

"What do you feel like watching, Bee?" She whispers, tickling her stomach. Beth's giggles fill the air and she can't help but feel a little better.

"Wiggles!" She whispers excitedly.

"I'll try find them." Quinn murmurs, flicking through the channels and pauses when she sees a report on the news about the soldiers over in Afghanistan. She turns up the volume, sitting up as she watches the report.

"_Breaking news on CNN. Taliban forces attacked green zone base camp, Tango, last night, leaving the American and British forces defenseless. It is unknown how this happened and it is unknown how many have been killed during the fight. All we know is that it's ongoing. We'll update in an hour."_

She sat, horrified as pictures of the fighting filled the screen. Beth had been tugging at her shirt, trying to get attention as she watched. When she finally looked down at her, saw the spitting image of Puck in her face, she started to cry.

"What's wrong, mommy?" Quinn shook her head, wiping the tears and reached over to grab her phone.

"Baby, go get changed for me, okay? We're going to Aunty Rachies." Quinn said in a broken voice and Beth nodded, sensing her Mum's mood and hurried off to her room. She watched her go, hiding the sob that came out of her mouth until she left the room. She knew she would be back soon to help her get changed so she slid off the bed, groaning at the pain shooting through her back and stomach. She ignored it and before she could call Rachel, her phone was ringing.

"Rachel." She whispered.

"Did you?"

"Yeah. Can we come over?"

"Yeah. Perry's wife is coming too."

"Okay." She whispered and hung up.

Beth picked out one of Puck's dresses that he had bought for her. He bought it when she was only one and he was smitten. They couldn't afford it, so he worked his butt off and he got it for her in the future and she wore it everywhere. He hadn't seen her wear it yet and Beth used to wear it everyday in hope that Puck would come home that day, but never did. She stopped wearing it soon after Quinn stopped staying up on the couch at night, just hoping she would get a call. Quinn dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Puck's shirts, helping Beth into her dress and drove over to Rachel's.

Their house was modest; it was Burt and Carole's old house that they left to Kurt and Finn. Kurt moved to New York and said the house was Finn's, so they made their life there. They had a beautiful baby boy, Tyler, and he had Finn's nose and Rachel's lips. He looked like Finn's father, mostly.

Quinn kept her emotions in check for Beth, but she knew that Beth could tell something was wrong. She left her to stay with Tyler in his room and sat with the wives. Rachel was watching the news report, pausing to see if she could see any of their husbands. Yvonne, Perry's wife and Rachel's boss brought out some wine as she sat with Quinn and poured both of them a glass. All of their phones were placed in the middle of the table, all of them watching them just in case.

Puck's chest heaved as he pulled Finn across the dirt. He had been shot, but he didn't know where. He needed to get him out of the fire so he could assess the damage. When he finally managed to find a dumpster to hide behind, he sat Finn up and slapped him. He groaned.

"Stay awake, idiot."

"Fuck." He groaned in response. He gripped Finn and searched for the bullet, letting out a sigh when he found it in his body armour.

"I've never been so fucking happy to wear this stupid thing." Finn breathed out and Puck chuckled.

"Not so stupid anymore now, huh?" Finn nodded and Puck hit his helmet, a sign of brotherly love and looked around the dumpster, hoping not to find a gun pointing down at him. He saw the boys down a little way, up against the cars and shooting. He grabbed Finn.

"Come on." They raced across, getting behind and started firing back. Puck was never satisfied when he saw his bullet fly across and hit his target, but he knew it was for good. These men wanted to kill him and his family. They wanted to spread pain and horror to the American people and he had to stop that. He was fighting for his country and he was doing them proud.

Quinn's pain in her stomach started to grow until she had to grip the table for support. Rachel, being the closer observer that she is questioned her, but Quinn just dismissed her, telling her it was cramps. It was weird though. She had just finished her period, well she thought she had and at strange moments, she would bleed. She didn't think anything of it at first, thinking that her period was just being temperamental since it was for a bit after Beth was born, but it hurt every time it came. Not the usual cramps. She dismissed it and got up to grab a cup of water, but before she could everything went black.

It was two days after the attack and there were cameras everywhere, telling Puck that obviously the girls at home knew what had happened but they needed to know if they were okay. Being an important rank he was allowed to use the satellite, calling Quinn's cell. On the second ring she picked up, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Baby." He breathed into the phone.

"Noah?" It was Rachel. He frowned.

"Rachel? Where's Quinn?"

"Are you okay? Is Finn okay?"

"Yeah, Finn's fine. Just bruises, Perry too. Where's Quinn? Can you put her on?"

"Noah, I need to tell you something." Rachel interrupted him, her voice broken and quiet.

"What is it?"

"Quinn's got cancer."

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><p><em>Reviews are always welcome! :)<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Obviously I'm just a kid using wiki to help with some terms so I apologize if I get anything wrong oh and thank you for the really nice reviews!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, blah blah blah._

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><p>Puck could barely function. His phone call with Rachel only lasted 2 minutes. She had to go and the Colonel was barking orders at him. He had no time to let it sink in. He had to do his job and to do it; he had to forget about it. But he couldn't. As he walked with the boys, searching for anything that could lead them back to who constructed the attack against them and where they could find them, he lagged behind. All he could think about was Quinn's face, tanned and beautiful, pale and sullen. It shook him to the bone. Perry took up point, noticing Puck's strange behaviour and didn't say anything as he kept searching.<p>

"You okay? Did the girls say anything?" Puck looked up at Finn, his eyes filling with tears, but he looked away so that Finn couldn't see them.

"What? What's happened?" Finn grabbed his arm, stopping him and Puck looked around at the boys, all watching them, but continued on. This was probably one of the most dangerous things that he's ever done.

"Quinn's got cancer." Puck whispered and kept walking.

Finn didn't bother him; he knew that if they were caught talking again they would get in some serious trouble. They were meant to be on high fucking alert at the moment. There was a guy, up ahead shouting and screaming, pointing towards something. Puck ran forward, asking the translator to translate, but he didn't know what he was speaking. Puck tried not to get angry but grabbed Finn, pulling him with him to go and try and find out what this guy is talking about. As soon as they entered the abandoned building they were fired upon. Puck pushed Finn up against a small wall, calling in for back up. Puck's heart was pounding, but all he could think about was staying alive so he could go back home. So he could go home and be with Quinn, to get her through it with her. Not here fighting a fight that isn't his fight. This isn't his fight anymore. His fight was at home. With Quinn.

Quinn just came out of surgery when Puck rang, receiving a laparotomy. It was a term she knew all too well. He grandmother passed away from ovarian cancer when she was twelve and it's probably the reason why she got it so young. During the laparotomy they do a biopsy to determine how much tumor is there and whether or not it could be removed without having to remove her ovaries or her fallopian tube. She's hoping that she'll just have to do Chemo and won't need to do anymore surgery. She didn't wake up until the afternoon the day after her surgery, her body aching, but at least that dull pain that was always there was gone. When she wakes up Rachel is there, holding her hand and being her rock. She suddenly realizes that Puck should be her rock, but she can't imagine him sitting here.

"The boys?" Quinn whispered, her voice croaking from the immense amount of sleep. She hadn't heard any news of them since she's been unconscious.

"Alive, all of them. They've been put on another assignment though." Rachel murmured, rubbing her thumb over Quinn's bony knuckles. Quinn doesn't say anything but nods, sighing deeply.

"Puck knows." Rachel murmured and Quinn looked up at her sharply.

"You told him?"

"He deserves to know."

"It's my body, it's my life."  
>"But you're his wife." Rachel said sternly.<p>

"Certainly doesn't feel like it." Quinn muttered, eyeing the rings that are sitting on her bedside table. She looked down at her ring finger as to where they would usually sit, but it didn't look empty to her. Before Rachel could say anything else Beth came into the room, Judy holding her hand as she led her in.

"Bee..." She whispered, smiling weakly. Beth smiled back and reached the edge of the bed, unsure as to whether or not to climb up. "Climb up baby, but be slow okay?" She nodded and slowly climbed on, Judy helping with taking off her shoes and she curled up next to Quinn.

"You know in Madeline where she gets her appendix out and she gets an ugly scar?" Quinn murmured and Beth nodded. Quinn lifted the gown and showed her the incision, still with stitches in it.

"Ew." Beth mumbled and Quinn laughed.

"Yes baby, ew." Quinn smiled, running her finger over her baby's cheek. She was glad that she had Beth; otherwise she would have gone insane. She had something to live for she thought solemnly. She looked around and noticed that Rachel and Judy had gone, leaving them alone.

"Bee, I have to tell you something and I know you won't understand, but try okay?" Quinn whispered and Beth nodded. Beth was unusually mature for a three year old. She didn't punch, she didn't cry, she just did everything she was told.

"Remember me telling you about Grandma Rose?" She murmured, turning on her side so that they were face to face. Beth nodded.

"She went to heaven." Beth stated as he eyebrow rose. Puck told her they looked like twins when she did that.

"Yes now… do you remember why?"

"She got Cancer." Quinn nodded and watched Beth as slowly understood. "Are you gonna die, mummy?" Quinn shook her head, leaning down to kiss Beth's head.

"No, mummy's gonna fight as hard as she can."

Their assignment wasn't going too well. They had one guy injured and Puck, Finn and Perry were isolated from the rest of the squad. They were trapped in other words. The guys that were shooting them were up on the top level; spraying bullets down onto them but the wall that they hid behind managed to hide them.

"Hudson!" Puck shouted as Finn started to tremble. Finn's eyes snapped to Puck's and for a strange moment Puck remembered the time Finn threw him the winning touchdown at their High School Championship Game. He also remembered the moment Quinn pulled him under the bleachers and had they fucked so good they both passed out and were found by Mr. Schuester the next morning to their embarrassment. He also remembered that Finn always looked for Puck, no one else. Puck pulled a grenade out, handing it to him.

"10 seconds on the clock, you punched it, remember?" Puck shouted over the gunfire and Finn nodded, beads of sweat falling off his brow. "I'll cover, aim well and we should live, all right?" Finn nodded again and Puck looked to Perry. In a manner of seconds Puck rolled out, firing all he had at them and Finn threw his grenade straight at them. As soon as they stopped, searching for it Puck grabbed Finn and Perry, pulling them away and shoved them onto the ground when the ten seconds were up, clouds of smoke and fire filling the warehouse.

Beth was sleeping soundly against her side, her forehead pressed into the side of Quinn's ribs. Quinn let out a sigh, her head resting back against the pillow as she considered the options. Chemo or surgery. Surgery meant, can't get pregnant again, most likely to get rid of the whole tumor. Chemo meant, likely to get rid of the tumor, might be able to get pregnant again. Did she want more children though? If she could have she would have had another when Beth was two, but it seems a little late now. Although… it really did depend on Puck. Would he be coming back for good? She could barely survive looking after Beth on her own, she didn't think she could do it again with _another_ baby. She looked down at Beth, twirling one of her brown ringlets around her finger. Would Beth be lonely though without someone else? What if Quinn didn't survive? Who would tell Beth to be who she is and not someone else? Puck, obviously, but Quinn doubted him. He's put the army before his family, who says he wouldn't do it again. Quinn sighed angrily, resting her palm against her forehead. _Puck loves you and he loves Beth. _She thought to herself. She certainly didn't feel loved. She sighed, rolled over to hold Beth against her before closing her eyes to try get some sleep.

Puck, Finn and Perry all made it to Headquarters with the rest of their squad, safe and sound. They managed to hitch a ride with one of the locals and as soon as Puck was debriefed he headed straight to the phone box. He leant against the glass window, hoping and praying that she might pick up.

"Hello?" It was Beth and Puck immediately smiled.

"Boo, it's Daddy."

"Daddy!" Beth squealed on the other line.

"Hey baby, how are you?"

"Good! I made a butterfly today."

"Oh yeah? Anything else?"

"Oh and a squiggle." Puck chuckled; a squiggle was her way of saying a picture, she could just never pronounce it right.

"Is mummy there?" He murmured, scratching his ear.

"She's sleeping."

"Can you wake her up for me? It's important."

"Okay daddio." He heard the clang of Beth dropping the phone on something and heard muffled sounds.

"Mm…?" Quinn breathed on the other line. Puck teared up just at the sound of her voice.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry to wake you. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"That's okay…" She mumbled into the phone. He could picture her. Her blonde hair draped across the pillow, her phone lying beside her on loudspeaker with her eyes closed and Beth tucked under her arm.

"How are you doing?"

"Mmkay… just have to get results back."

"I'm gonna try and get home, to be there with you. To fight this with you." He murmured.

"Puck I've been alone for the past 14 months, I'm sure I can survive a little longer. Take as long as you want." She muttered and he heard Beth mumble something in the background that he couldn't hear. He could hear the lie in her voice.

"Q, don't be like this, you know I can't-"

"Look Puck, if you want, you can come home. I don't plan on dying. I know what happened to you guys would send around another set of assignments and I honestly can survive without you here, I have been for the past 14 months."

"You sound like you don't want me to come home." Puck murmured angrily. He could hear her sigh in the background. He waited for what felt like for forever when she spoke again.

"They've given me two options. One, surgery. That would mean they would have to get rid of my reproductive organs and therefore I can't get pregnant, again. Two, Chemo. Less likely to get rid of the tumor, but there's a chance I can have children. Puck, this is what I'm left with and I don't know what to do, okay? I really need you, but you're miles away. I don't want you to feel bad, but it's the truth, all right?"

"I love you." He breathed, a tear rolling down his cheek. He heard her watery chuckle and sighed.

"I love you too and of course I want you to come home, when have I not?"

"I'll be home soon."  
>"Be careful." And then the line went dead. He sighed, putting the phone back on the hook and rubbed his eyes. Not good to be seen crying around an army base, they'll be sure to send you home for being a downright pussy.<p>

He felt a bit better after the phone call, Rachel sounded so defeated that Quinn was worse than he thought, but Quinn sounded fine. Maybe the cancer wasn't so bad; maybe it was like stage one or something. He didn't care what stage it was, he was headed home. He was set on it, so he set his mission to head straight to the Colonel to tell him he quit.

Rachel sat on Quinn's bed, her hand clutching hers tightly as they received the news. Stage two. She pursed her lips. Quinn had no idea what it meant. She didn't know how many stages there was.

"Rachel. How many stages are there?" Quinn murmured as the doctor stood, assessing her chart.

"What?"

"I know you went home and researched, tell me." Quinn looked up to a tearing up Rachel and watched her swallow as she recovered the facts.

"Four."

"So half bad."

"It's spread to your ovaries and fallopian tube. It's advanced." The doctor interrupted.

"Something has a grudge against me getting pregnant." She muttered, her head leaning back against the back of the headboard, the pain in her gut returning. "What's my survival rate?" Quinn murmured.

"Quinn…" Judy warned. Quinn rolled her eyes, turning back to the doctor and he sighed.

"One third." Quinn nodded slowly, pursing her lips.

"Well, I better call my husband up and tell him I'm getting the snip."

Puck was furious. When he walked into the office of the Colonel he was given another assignment. He didn't even have time to explain and tell him what's happening. His bags were packed and he was suddenly in a helicopter, flying over what had been his home for the past year. When they landed they were all taken into a small building, strapped up and headed out. Their mission was to find one of the high positioned men in the Taliban. They had received a tip off that he would be in the location. He fucking hated missions like this. It was high fucking alert and it meant usually a one-way ticket. He glanced around, it was desert and buildings. Buildings upon buildings. He almost wanted to grab the helicopter and fly himself back home, but that was clearly impossible now. He had to think about his family over here now. He had to look after his boys.

Quinn's condition started to fail. She had been putting off the surgery, waiting for Puck to call her so that she could ask him to come home. She had never asked him to, and now she needed him. It had been three days since their last talk and the morphine wasn't working too well. She could only have a certain amount and when that certain amount wore off, which was starting to become a shorter period of time till the pain in her gut came back. Well, she had learnt today it was actually her ovaries screaming at her. Beth wasn't allowed to see her, she was too aggravated and in too much pain to actually communicate anyway. Rachel kept on insisting that she needed to have it done. She was sick of seeing her friend of pain. From the time he left her and from the time she got Cancer, she was always in pain. _I need him._ Quinn would always reply with. _I can't do it without him._

When Puck finally got back to base, their assignment unsuccessful as the leader had fled the area, he headed straight to the Colonel after his de-briefing, opening the door wide and didn't bother knocking.

"Lieutenant Puckerman, what can I help you with?" The Colonel murmured, not looking up at him. Puck never really did like the Colonel. He was a bitter, old man. He was left bitter after he saw half of his squad murdered in front of his eyes.

"I resign." He took his sidearm and unloaded it, placing it on the table. The Colonel looked up at him, completely confused.

"Lieutenant, what has brought this on? You're squad have been doing remarkably out-"

"My wife has cancer." He stated, swallowing hard to try not cry in front of the Colonel. The Colonel's eyes immediately widened and stood up.

"I'm sorry to hear that Noah, I can put you on paid leave."

"I'm not coming back sir. I don't think I can." He murmured, his voice breaking at the end. The Colonel nodded.

"I'll get a plane back for you to leave in the next hour." He reached forward, holding out his hand and Puck shook it.

"You were the best we've ever had. Good luck." The murmured as Puck dropped his hand. Puck didn't say anything but left, heading straight to the phone box and immediately called Quinn's hospital room number. It rang for a long time before someone finally picked up.

"Baby?" He whispered.

"Rachel." A tired voice said on the other end of the line. He realized it would be about three in the morning over there.

"Where is she?"

"Surgery."

"What? I thought she was going in next week."

"It's spreading fast, they need to stop or it'll get to her pelvis, Puck. I'm sorry, she couldn't wait anymore."

"I'm on my way."

Quinn was aching all over when she woke up five hours later. She glanced over at the chair that would sit beside her bed and sighed when Puck wasn't in it. Of course he wasn't going to be there. She pulled the covers off her and glanced down, pushing her gown up so she could see her bare stomach. She pursed her lips to try stop herself from crying but the tears flowed. No more children. She wasn't a woman anymore. She wondered if Puck would come back after he found out she wouldn't be able to bear his children. She was too young for cancer anyway. Way too young. She was twenty-five for Christ's sakes. People over fifty get this disease she thought to herself. Then she could remember her grandmother, old and weak, always smiling. Quinn knew she smiled to keep the pain away from her. She had to do that to Beth now. She had to do it with everyone else.

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><p><em>Reviews are always welcome!<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_Very short chapter, I apologise I've been busy with school. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews!_

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><p>Puck arrived at the hospital with Finn, full uniform straight off the plane the day after her surgery. He was tired as fuck, but he needed to see her. As he walked through the halls, he could see the patients walk past him stare at his uniform but he ignored them, finally finding Rachel sitting outside in the hallway beside Judy. Finn rushed forward, hugging her, holding her. Finn had seen Rachel three times this year. Puck had only seen Quinn once. Rachel hugged him too.<p>

"How is she?" He asked her, moving to look in the glass door. Rachel sighed as Puck took Quinn in. The last physical image of her was the soft curves, the long blonde hair and her eyes. She looked like a different person as he looked through the glass.

"The surgery went well, they found two tumors on her ovaries and removed them. They found some more by her gall bladder and removed them. They've just had to swab other organs just in case they're cancerous. When they find out whether or not they are, they'll have to determine whether or not she'll be put on Chemo."

"Chemo too?" Rachel nodded and Puck rested his forehead against the glass. "How long was she given to live?"

"A year." Rachel murmured quietly. She was too thin, her eyes were hollow and she was unreadable. He opened the door and his eyes immediately met hers. They were angry. He had to look away to pick up Beth as she came squealing, jumping off the bed and into his arms. He swung her around.

"Boo bear!" He murmured, bouncing her on his hip and she squealed in return. He kissed her all over and then sighed. "Dad's gotta have a talk with your mother."

"Okay." She said and he slowly let her back on the ground. He waited for the door to shut before moving towards her.

"I'm sorry, they just-" He said, moving closer to her.

"Don't." She muttered. Puck looked away, anywhere but her face and found her rings sitting perfectly on the bedside table. He moved to the them and slid them into his palm, grabbing the chair and sat down beside her, holding his palm out to her.

"What are you doing?"

"When I married you, I vowed to you that I'd be here, in sickness and in health." Quinn scoffed at the last part. "Quinn, please… I'm sorry." She sighed and moved a little on the bed to make room for him. When he laid down beside her, she rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arm around his. She held out her hand and he slid the rings on, kissing each of her fingers. She looked up at him and it was the look she gave him right after he'd won his Championship game. It was this look that made him feel happy and so lucky that he had her in his life. It was the look that he knew that she was proud of him. Something that he never got from his Mum or Dad. Then she looked away, biting her bottom lip and it looked like she was about to cry.

"Baby? What's wrong?" He murmured and he watched a few tears fell down her cheeks.

"Are you mad at me?" Puck frowned deeply, what the hell was she on about? He tucked a strand of her hair behind her cheek.

"No? Why would I be mad?" She looked up at him, her eyes tired and she looked so weak.

"I can't give you what you want. I can't give you anymore children." She said in a broken whisper. He shook his head and kissed her forehead, bringing her head to his chest.

"You gave me love, Quinn. That's all I need." He whispered and she sobbed into his chest, her tears staining his uniform. "And we have Beth and we can adopt or foster kids if you want, Baby, but you and Beth are all I need." He whispered, stroking her hair. She nodded into his chest and he let out sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She leant back, putting both of her hands on his chest and looked up at him so they were eye level.

"You're here now, that's all that matters." There was no doubt that she had wished he was there with her when it happened, but he believed that maybe yeah, him being with her now and not dead would be better. He couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't there to hold her, to squeeze her hand to kiss her forehead when she felt the lowest of lows put a dent in their relationship. He knew he needed to help her; he needed to tell her every moment of everyday that he loved her and would continue to love her till he would die. He knew that by looking at her that she was hurting, that she believed that it was her fault that she couldn't have children. It's not her fault she got cancer, cancer decided to be a fuckwit and pick on someone like Quinn. He wanted to argue more, to tell her that he should have been there for everything but he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere.

He ran his thumb over her cheekbone, the softness of her face still as he remembered it and leant in to kiss her. He could remember the last time he kissed her like this. It was when he came home after spending the day with his sister and her kids. It wasn't just a kiss, it was that kiss when he would come home from the shops or come home after dropping Beth off at school. It was a kiss that showed her that even though he was gone for maybe ten, twenty minutes and now a year that he missed her, everywhere he went. He told her that he had this need to be with her, this need to touch, this need to feel her wherever he went and she would reply with, _that's so ironic because you're always away for long periods of time._ Which was true, but whenever he came back it would always heighten.

He could feel the longing, the desperation as she slid a little onto him. She couldn't move much, the pain from the surgery still dull in the background, but he could feel her hands at his uniform, grasping the material tightly in her fingers. She ran her hand over his head where his Mohawk used to be. She was so used to it as a teenager that she would curl her fingers around her, grasping at it when they made love or stroking it when she would comfort him, but now even though with it gone and the small buzz that remained, he still liked it. He slipped her off him carefully, turning onto his side a little more and kissed her, but before he knew it she was crying again. He pulled back, alarmed.

"Baby? Did I hurt you?" He whispered. Did he hurt her? He checked, looking down at himself to make sure that he hadn't leant on her during the process. She shook her head and looked away.

"I'm sorry. I'm just… why would you want me?" She whispered and he took her hand, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Hey. Look at me." He whispered and she looked up at her, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"You're beautiful, but you're so smart. You're so warm and you know, you're the first person to ever show me what it feels like to be loved so don't take that away from me, okay? I'm not going to leave. Not now, not ever." Quinn nodded and leant up to kiss him one more time. "We'll get through this, all of us."

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><p><em>Reviews are always welcome!<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_I apologise for the late update, there are some personal issues that are preventing me from finding any motivation, but I'm not sure how to continue this story, as I really have no motivation. I'll have to see. Sorry again._

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><p>Puck noticed the changes with Quinn and Beth when they got home from the hospital. Beth would cling to Quinn more. Beth would watch her more and always need her attention. They had gone a year without him and he noticed that they didn't need him, but he fought himself to believe that Quinn needed him. She collapsed as she tried to make her way into the house as Puck carried her bags in and managed to catch her. She blamed the lack of sleep, but he knew she was exhausted. She was still in pain. They decided that she didn't need Chemo, but he knew the next few weeks or months were going to be tough. Just hoping, just praying that everything was removed and nothing would come back. When he tucked Beth into bed, giving her a kiss and headed back to his bedroom, Quinn was lying on her side facing his side of the bed. He pulled off his shirt and jeans, slipping into the bed and looked at her. Her eyes were tired as she stared back, her fingers lifting to stroke his cheek.<p>

"I would dream about you coming home, lying beside me, but after so long apart this feels like the dream." She whispered. He caught her fingers and kissed each and every one of them.

"I'm here." He whispered back.

"Don't leave me, okay?" She whispered and he nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere anymore." He murmured and she nodded, her eyelids drooping sleepily. Her hand pushed him back so he was lying on his back and she crawled to rest her head on his chest. Soon after Puck heard her snore and he smiled, running his fingers through her hair. _I'm home._

Quinn was awake, but she didn't want to move. She didn't want to go anywhere. She opened her eyes to see Puck's arm was across her stomach, his head buried into her shoulder. Was it a dream? _Was he actually home with me? _She thought to herself and then she rested her head back against the pillow. She knew she had to get up, to get moving, to push through the pain but she didn't care anymore. What is the point, when the most vital, the thing you were made to do has been ripped out of you and made you the most useless thing ever. She looked up when she heard the door creak and Beth was standing in the doorway, holding the teddy that Puck bought her when she was one.

"Hi Bee." Quinn whispered. Beth walked to the bed and climbed on, crawling between Puck and her. Puck groaned a little and opened his eyes, looking down to see Beth under his arm. Quinn watched Puck's reaction. Puck was the greatest husband, he truly was, but sometimes he just didn't get it. He didn't get how much they both missed him. She sat up, watching them both. Puck was tickling her, sending her into a fit of giggles and Quinn couldn't help but crack a smile. She knew she had a purpose. She had to be a great mother and she had to be a great wife. Puck looked up at her at that exact moment, giving her a look that always made her feel loved and confirmed that thought. She leant down, pressed her lips against his and grabbed Beth, tickling her too.

The days got easier for Quinn, the pain was still there but it was dull. She didn't want the thought of it coming back to be clouding her thoughts. She knew her grandmother would persevere, be selfless and care about the task ahead, not the what if's and could have beens. Quinn valued Puck a bit more after he told her that he completely quit from the Army. He wasn't going back. The thought of him going back was almost natural in the back of her head. He would be there, they would spend so many limited beautiful days that they got to spend and would leave straight after. It had been the norm for so many years she found it difficult to believe. She found it difficult to believe that he would be there in the morning when she woke up or to see him out in the backyard instead of in his office making phone calls to his officers, pleading for more time.

She watched him now, shirt off, spraying Beth with the hose he was using to water the flowers and he could hear the laughter even from the front of the house. He looked up at her, his eyes boring into hers and she dropped the dish she was washing, threw the gloves off and headed outside. As soon as she stepped out of the door Puck had aimed it directly at her and Beth's giggles could be heard over the splashing of water. Quinn gasped, Puck's gray army shirt that she had been wearing was completely drenched and looked up. Beth was now perched on his hip, holding the hose and aiming straight at her. "Don't you dare Beth Puckerman!" Quinn squealed, knowing all too well she was going to do it anyway. Beth grinned and pushed down. Another jet of water streamed her way and Quinn jogged to hide behind the BBQ. "Shit no, Beth!" Puck shouted and Quinn laughed. She stood up and put her hands on her hips. Beth did the same, running over to Quinn.

"Daddy said a naughty word." Beth stated and Quinn nodded as Puck ran over to check the BBQ. Beth ran over to the hose, picking it up. "Get him Beth!" Quinn squealed and laughed when Beth managed to aim straight at his butt, making him yelp up. He turned around, his hands were made into claws and Quinn squealed in shock horror. Beth dropped the hose, hiding behind Quinn's thigh.

"Quick, Beth hide!" Beth ran, but Puck was too quick and picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. Beth squealed as Puck made monster noises and Quinn couldn't help but smile. She ran her hands over her wet hair and she caught Puck looking at her through the corner of his eye. She looked down, realising that her nipples were quite evident against his shirt and she smacked her lips, looking up at him again. They couldn't do anything… yet. Quinn was still healing and the thought of sex wasn't really on her mind, but the look her just gave her privates a little heat. Then the doorbell rung and it was all forgotten.

Puck was out looking for work. The army had given him some help with looking after Quinn financially wise, but he knew that money would soon run out, so he needed to support his family. He had been looking through the pages of the newspaper when he felt Quinn's hands across his shoulders. He looked up and slid his chair back so she could sit down on his lap. She sat down on his lap and he noticed the change of weight since the last time they had done this. "Find anything?" She murmured, looking down at the newspapers too. "No… They all need qualifications." He murmured and she pursed her lips, her eyebrow rising. He looked up at her, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. The doctor warned him that she would be depressed, but he saw nothing of it. He saw how the surgery had affected her, she was a lot slower but he didn't see anything that concerned him. "What are you thinking about?" She murmured and he looked up at her, realising that he had been quiet for a while. He ran his hand over her thigh softly. "The doctors told me that… that there is a chance you'd be depressed and to look out for it." She nodded slowly, her eyes locked with his. "Do you feel like that?" She shrugged and sighed, scratching the back of his neck with her fingers.

"At the beginning, when I got home yes I did, but now? No not really. I would think that you wouldn't love me if I couldn't give you children," Puck made a move to say something but she pecked his lips, "but I know now that it isn't true. I do feel like less of a woman, but I have a beautiful daughter and a loving husband, so I shouldn't feel like that." She murmured, turning to look at him with a small smile. "I have everything that I want, so I'm happy." She whispered, running her hand over his short buzz.

"I love you." He whispered and she smiled, leaning down to kiss him.

"I love you too."

Quinn was still tired a couple of weeks after the surgery. She wasn't meant to be doing much, but she hated just sitting around the house doing nothing. It was like telling her she needed to feel depressed and disgusting if she stayed inside all day. It was a Saturday and it was Tyler's birthday. Beth and Quinn had finished wrapping up the present that Puck went out and bought because he said all boys had to have it. She realised she would never be able to give Puck a boy, something she knew he had hoped for since they had gotten married, but she knew that he was okay with Beth. Beth was everything they needed.

"Beth, are you sad that you won't have a brother or sister?" Quinn murmured as she grabbed a juice box for her and handed it to her.

"Nop. I want mummy and daddy to myself." She said with a grin and walked off. Quinn chuckled and perked up when she heard the door shut. Puck had been gone all morning and she didn't know why. She walked into the hallway to see him covered in dirt and grease, she almost shrieked.

"What have you been doing?" She said, throwing him a dishtowel as he made his way towards her.

"Burt said if I could get a bike up and running I would have a job. I fixed up a couple of Humvees over in Afghanistan, so baby, your husband is a mechanic." He said, almost grinning. She knew he was talented with a wrench; he was always fixing her car when it broke down.

"You do realise I'm not going to kiss you when you have grease all over you." She murmured, stepping back as he came closer.

"Oh yes I am!" He said, grinning as he wrapped his arms around her as Quinn squirmed.

"Kiss her!" Beth squealed from the corner and Quinn couldn't hold him back. He leant down and kissed her. He tasted like sweat, grease and something else that wasn't too pleasant.

"Ugh, go have a shower." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes, whacking him on the shoulder. "And hurry up we have to leave soon!"

Puck watched Quinn as she sat with Rachel and Tina, talking with them. Over the past few weeks the guard she had up was eventually being broken down. She had been tense; she had been completely guarded because she had to go so long without anyone that she felt comfortable with and she was letting him back in again. Puck talked with the boys, telling them how glad he was to be back at home and couldn't keep his eyes off her. Today she looked radiant. It would be six weeks tomorrow from her surgery, which meant that she should be, healed enough for having a run in the sack. He missed that aspect of their relationship. The passionate lovemaking that they would have. It's been a year since he's touched her like that and lately it's the only thing he can think about. He's watching how she plays with the strap of her white dress and when she notices him watching her, he can't help but keep his eyes on hers. Something in her eyes tell him that she wants him too and then she looks away, still talking with the girls.

When it's finally time to go, Quinn can feel his eyes on her. He's been staring at her all night and she's had a hard time not looking at him. His eyes, dark and hazel, were filled with lust and it made something pang in her stomach. Was she ready not just physically but also mentally? She was healed, she had been for over a week and nothing hurt anymore, but she wasn't so sure about how she would feel. They hadn't felt that connection for over a year and she didn't know if it was still there. Was if it wasn't? What if they just fell and wouldn't be able to be like that again? She shook her head at the thoughts and got up, saying goodbye and was thankful that Rachel said Beth could stay the night. They walked out to the car, hand in hand and she could feel the heat coming off him. When she slid into the car and waited for him to pull away she slid her hand onto his thigh, rubbing it softly. When they made it home, he showed no sign of rushing anything, but as soon they were in the door, she found herself pushed up against the wall and his lips were everywhere. Her neck, her jaw and his hands were everywhere too.

"Mmm.. baby, slower." She whispered nervously and he nodded, taking her hand and pulling her to the bedroom. He didn't tug her to the bed but stood behind her, his hands running down her sides to pull her dress over her head. His lips were on her neck, the soft touches on her hips and stomach made her moan. She had missed this.

Puck needed her, he needed to feel her and he could tell she was nervous. It had been so long, but as he got rid of her clothing, she didn't stop him. She turned around; her perfectly shaped breasts sitting perfectly on her chest and laid down on the bed. He crawled over her, his hand moving down to pull off her panties and kissed her. It was desperate. It was filled with longing. It was what he needed. Her hands were at his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushed it off his shoulders. He threw it off and she was already onto his pants, pushing them down. He pulled her so she was lying back against the pillows as he kissed down her chest and stomach, her body arching into his touches. Then he reached her centre, grinning. He had missed this, so much. As he ran his tongue along her run he felt her hand slide into the small amount of his hair and groaned when she tugged. He loved it when she did that. He continued, moving his tongue faster and teased her clit with it as her hips rocked against his mouth. Then she tugged him so he was in kissing distance, her hands moving down to push his boxers down. When he entered her, they both moaned in unison. Their bodies were made for each other. His strong build, her soft and delicate body melted into each other. He was gentle, made sure that he didn't go to hard on her but he needed to feel everything. He loved feeling her legs wrapped around his, the way she pushed up with each of his thrusts and the way she kissed his shoulder made him closer and closer. When she came, she moaned his name into his shoulder and bucked up into him. Her moan made him come, the way she said his name, the way it was it strangled and suppressed sent him over the edge. He felt her fingers on her face, scrambling to pull him up to kiss her. "I love you." She whispered against her lips. He smiled. "I love you more." He whispered back, kissing her back. From then on, everything was a whole lot better.

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><p><em>Ugh this is such a bad chapter, sorry guys. Reviews are always welcome!<em>


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